Why I Keep Losing NaNoWriMo (And Why I Just Can’t Quit It)

Remember last October, when I made 31 posts about prepping for NaNoWriMo… and then promptly lost NaNoWriMo? I do. And you’d think I would’ve learned from that experience. But, no. This year, I got all jazzed up about it again, did some prepping for a new book idea, hammered out about 30,000 words, and then dropped the ball. So what is it about NaNoWriMo that just doesn’t work for me? Why do I do great for the first half of it, and then just… quit? Case in point:

NaNoWriMo 2018


NaNoWriMo 2017

NaNoWriMo 2016

I mean, look at 2016! I was doing amazing! It seems like there’s no way I could have lost, and yet I did. I’ll admit that 2017 was a bit more of a mess, because I started out writing one novel and then ended up jumping to another halfway through (because I was a NaNo rebel, and I didn’t care about breaking the rules, damnit). But this year I really thought I’d gotten my shit together. I’d done a little outlining, but not too much. I had a solid story idea with pretty well-defined plot beats. I was excited about what I was writing. So what went wrong?

The only conclusion I’ve been able to come to is so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. I mean, it really isn’t rocket science. And that conclusion is this: I’m not a fast-drafter.

Seriously. That’s the long and short of it. I’m just really not a fast-drafter. I’m not the kind of person who can sit down at a computer and bang out 1,667 words a day, at least not without getting burnt out. The fastest I’ve ever written 50,000 words is three months, and that draft was a hot mess. And I really, really don’t like to write hot-mess first drafts, because that means more editing and revising later. So, with that being the case, it’s no wonder I’ve lost every single NaNoWriMo I’ve ever attempted.

But why did I think I could be a fast-drafter? Where did this unmerited confidence come from? I guess I’d just been working under the assumption that, since other people had done it, so could I. Because, I mean, writing works exactly the same for everybody, right? (That was heavy, heavy sarcasm.) This is actually a problem I’ve run into a lot lately. I keep thinking that, because something works for other writers, it has to work for me, too. And if it doesn’t work for me, then I’m the problem. Since NaNoWriMo works so well for other people, the fact that it doesn’t work for me means that I’m doing something wrong. But, no. That’s not the case at all. And, you know what? I’m sure that some of you have had the same problem. Some of you may have also lost NaNoWriMo one too many times, and you’ve probably wondered if you were at fault. But I’m here today to say that it’s not your fault. You may just not be a fast-drafter, and that’s okay.

So does that mean I’m never, ever going to participate in NaNoWriMo again? No, I’ll probably do it again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that. I’ll also probably participate in every single Camp NaNoWriMo, too.

“Why would you do that?” you’re probably asking. “If NaNoWriMo doesn’t work for you, what’s the point in doing it?” And that’s a valid question. But, I mean, despite the fact that I’ve never won NaNoWriMo, that doesn’t mean I’ve ever really failed, either. Because, as I’ve seen a lot of people on Twitter saying: Whether you get 10 words written, or 50,000 words written, you’ve still written something. And I think that’s a really good point. This year, I wrote about 30,000 words of a brand new project, which is awesome. Last year, I wrote a whole lot of words for two projects. And the year before that… I mean, look at that progress! Just look at it!

So, yeah, I may never hit 50,000 words in a month. I may not be a fast-drafter. But, at the end of the day, NaNoWriMo gets me writing. It gets me writing every day, and it gets me excited to write every day. I may have to start molding it to my own individual writing needs, so that I don’t burn myself out anymore, but as a whole I think NaNoWriMo is a great resource that can help a lot of writers get started on the projects buzzing around in their heads. And, even better, it can help to connect those writers to a community. That, to me, seems like the biggest victory of all.

What about you? Do you participate in NaNoWriMo? What’s your experience with it been like? Make sure to let me know in the comments down below!

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Long Time, No Blog

Sooo… It’s been a while. A long while. About four months, actually. And I’m really sorry about that. I mean, I never meant to neglect this blog the way I have. In my defense, though, I was sort of going through a quarter-life crisis. Graduating college and entering the real world hit me a lot harder than I thought it would, and I’ll admit that I started to flounder. I started second-guessing everything, which led to me overcompensating in some parts of my life while totally dropping the ball with others. But no more! We’re going to get things back on track.

In these past few months, I’ve made some pretty tough decisions. After hitting rock bottom, where I felt depressed and overwhelmed by everything I was trying and failing to do, I finally sat down and started thinking about what I really wanted. And here are the conclusions I came to:

1.) I don’t want to make YouTube videos anymore.

I know. This one shocked me, too, since being a YouTuber has been one of my biggest dreams since I was a kid. It’s just that… making YouTube videos kind of sucks. You have to get dressed up. Do your makeup nice. Find a nice camera angle. Try and sound halfway coherent while you speak and also be super entertaining. Sometimes you have to film a video more than once because the first take is utter garbage. Then you have to spend hours editing and uploading it. And it’s nearly impossible to gain any kind of momentum in channel growth without putting out at least one video a week, which is nearly impossible to do when you’re also trying to work a part-time job and write a book and revise another book and then still have time for yourself.

I just couldn’t do it, guys. Blogging is so much easier. I can bang out one of these posts in half an hour, max, and usually they’re higher quality and more entertaining than my videos! So, from now on, I’m going to be posting all of the content I would usually make for my channel on this blog instead. It’s gonna be lit.

2.) I really want to start focusing on furthering my acting career.

Something y’all may not even know about me is that I’m not only an aspiring author, but also an aspiring actress. It’s something I’ve never really talked about on here because, well, this is a writing blog. But it is something I’ve always loved to do, and something I’ve wanted to make a career out of alongside my writing. Unfortunately, it’s another thing that I’ve let slip in my life, but now that I’m getting my shit together it’s definitely something I want to put my energy into again.

3.) I need to make writing fun again.

Yeah, I hate to admit it, but writing really hasn’t been a lot of fun lately. I’ve just been too worried about… Well, about everything. About what potential readers might find wrong with my books. About writing something that could get me an agent and publishing deal, rather than writing something that I’m actually passionate about. It’s all been a great big mess, and I know that’s on me. I’ve let things get to my head, and now I have to work past all of the fear and anxiety that’s built up inside of me. I need to write for fun, instead of writing to get paid (because, at this point, I’m neither having fun nor getting paid, so what good is that?).

I’m also making small lifestyle changes, like eating healthier and exercising every day, and I’m trying to read more rather than just binging Netflix every night. Hopefully, making these changes, both big and small, will lead to me feeling happier and more fulfilled in my life. Already, I’m feeling more excited to wake up in the morning and get started with my day. So, here’s to ending 2018 right, and to a 2019 that’s sure to be full of fun and success!

Book Review – Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

Rating: 4.5/5 Stars

This will be a spoiler-free review. For my spoiler-y thoughts, check out my Book Breakdown on my YouTube channel, which was posted on 4/18/2018 (My Channel).

This book was so close to being a 5/5 star read for me. Soooo close! It was honestly that good. It was cute, and fun, and well-written. It was everything I was hoping it would be. Hell, it was everything I was hoping Burro Hills would be (you can check out that review here). So kick back and relax, because this review is going to be a fun one.

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Book Review – Zenith by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings

Rating: 3.5/5 Stars

This will be a spoiler-free review. For my spoiler-y thoughts, check out my Book Breakdown on my YouTube channel, which was posted on 4/18/2018 (My Channel).

I went into this book having read and watched a plethora of negative and/or rant reviews about it. I knew the general plot of the book, I knew about the trigger warning for rape, and I knew about the Spiced Rigna and how “hope is a raging asshole.” So when I cracked the spine of the library book I’d borrowed (because obviously I wasn’t going to spend money on a book people were shitting on right and left) I thought I was in for a dumpster fire. I thought I would be trudging through the book from beginning to end, rolling my eyes at the awful writing and wishing I hadn’t decided to review it for my Book Breakdown. Then, the unthinkable happened.

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Book Review – Burro Hills by Julia Lynn Rubin

Rating: 3.5/5 Stars

I was given an eARC of this novel via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This review will be spoiler-free.

I’d like to get this out in the open right away: I was disappointed with this book. Now, this may have been partially my fault. I think I went into it with high expectations, hoping it would be similar to one of my favorite novels, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. Not that I wanted it to be the same plotline. Rather, I was just hoping it would hit me as hard as that novel had. I wanted this book to make me feel something, and it just didn’t deliver.

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Book Review – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey

Rating: 4/5 Stars

This will be a spoiler-free review.

I’m not going to lie. When I was assigned this book to read for my fiction workshop, I anticipated that I would hate it. Not because I don’t like classic literature–in fact, I love the classics–but because it was assigned to me. In my experience, if a piece of classic literature is assigned to read, it isn’t the good stuff. I’ve never been assigned to read Little Women or Pride and Prejudice, and although I read Wuthering Heights for a class, it was a classic that I was allowed to pick for myself. So, going into this novel, I was filled with dread. I thought I was in for a rough 325 pages. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, and I actually ended up really enjoying myself.

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Book Review – The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

Rating: 5/5 Stars

This will be a spoiler-free review. For my spoiler-y thoughts, check out my Book Breakdown on my YouTube channel, which will be posted on 3/21/2018 (My Channel).

Very rarely can I say that a book affected me like this one did. By the end of chapter two I was sobbing, and at that point I knew I was in for a very powerful reading experience. I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, I feel like I’ve come out of this experience changed in some way. This book really forced me to confront prejudices that I hadn’t even realized I’d had, and during the incredibly moving finale of this novel I made a promise to myself that I would no longer stand by and watch as atrocities like these happened to the people around me. My voice is my weapon, and I need to start using it.

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Book Review – The Elysian Prophecy by Vivien Reis

Rating: 3/5 Stars

I was given an eARC of this novel by the author in exchange for an honest review. This review will be spoiler-free. (Disclaimer: I meant to finish and review this novel before its release date, but since it was only sent to me a little over a week before publication and I had other obligations, I wasn’t able to. Sorry!!!)

The best way I can describe this book is to say it was enjoyable. Not great, but not bad either. A true three out of five stars. I was actually considering giving it 3.5 stars, but enough issues piled up by the end that I couldn’t justify the half star.

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Book Review – The Savior’s Champion by Jenna Moreci

Rating: 5/5 Stars

I was given an eARC of this novel by the author in exchange for an honest review. This review will be spoiler-free.

For full disclosure, I want to put it out there that I am on Jenna Moreci’s street team for this novel. However, I can assure you that this did not cloud my judgement at all. I was prepared to give this novel a bad review if it deserved it, though, luckily for me (and for all of you), Moreci wrote an amazing book.

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So, Your Local Aspiring Author™ Is Querying Their Novel… What Does That Mean Exactly?

So your local Aspiring Author ™ is ranting and raving all over their social medias about how they are “officially querying their manuscript.” Which is all well and good, except… What does that even mean? After all, you work a regular nine-to-five job like a normal person, and all of this writing hoopla that they’re always tossing about never actually makes sense to you. So, okay, they’re querying their novel. Does that mean it’s about to be published and you can finally get some peace and quiet on your Facebook news feed? Well, my good non-writerly friend, let me explain to you a thing.

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