My worst personality trait has always been my need for instant gratification. If I don’t get the thing I want the second I want it, I go berserk. Not in the crazy, screaming, throwing things way (well, maybe once or twice), but in the frantic, anxiety-riddled way. If I see something I really want to buy, I’ll think about it night and day until I finally get it. If I set a goal for myself, I’ll let it consume me and get down on myself if I don’t accomplish it right away. And if I develop a crush on a guy, I’ll go crazy thinking about him, wanting him to be my boyfriend without the fuss of having to flirt with and impress him.Continue reading
This is a phenomenon that has only happened twice in my life now, but MAN do I love it when it does. Basically, what happens is that I’ve been kicking a few ideas around for a while, with one that’s really been drawing my attention more than the others. Still, whenever I try to write it, I can’t seem to get words down, or at least not many. I tend to not even make it past the first page. Then, one day, I suddenly realize that combining a few of these less-developed ideas with my big idea is exactly what I need to make this story work. And then BLAMO! I’ve finally got something I can work with!
Yeesh, it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to write out a blog post like this. Over a month, in fact. There’s something freeing about this type of post, where I can just sit down and let whatever I’m feeling pour out. I don’t need to worry about you guys not gathering everything I’m saying because there isn’t really anything for you to gather. I guess what I mean is that I’m not teaching, I’m just talking. It’s hella relaxing, I’ll tell you what.
As the month comes to an end, I find myself reflecting on everything I’ve done in these thirty days. I turned twenty-two; I finished my revisions on my book and I’ve prepared it to be sent out to my betas come October; I did a hell of a lot of researching when it came to self-publishing; I wrote, filmed, and edited a ton of videos for my upcoming YouTube/blogging series “31 Days of NaNoWriMo Prep”; and I started my senior year of college. Phew. That’s more than I’ve done… Well, ever, if I’m being completely honest. Productivity has never really been my forte.
If you also follow my YouTube channel (check it out here), then you’ll know that the result of this debate has been decided for a while now. Honestly, it may have been decided while I was writing part 1. There’s a solid chance that writing that post completely talked me into my decision, which is: I’m self-publishing! Yay!
So I finally finished rewriting, editing, and revising (yes, all three of those are different things) the first half of my novel, which I figured meant that I should update the three people who follow this blog on my progress and where I’m going from here.
I found my motivation! Really, I knew that I would. Writers block doesn’t last forever, though it’s always scary when you get it. It’s almost like a really bad flu that has you practically living in the bathroom. Sure, you know that eventually you’ll get better and then it’ll be like none of it ever happened, but there’s always a small part of you that worries that you’ll never get better and that you’ll be sleeping on that tile floor for the rest of your life. I always worry that this will be the writers block that does me in, and I’ll never write another word again.
Ever since I returned to school from my winter break, I’ve noticed that my motivation to work on my novel is somewhat lacking. That seems to be how it goes with me, though. Over summer and winter breaks, I’m a force to be reckoned with when it comes to my writing. At school, on the other hand, I can barely complete my writing assignments without a break every five seconds, much less get any work done on my novel. It’s frustrating, to say the least. My goal is to have it published by the end of my senior year (which is next school year), and how will I reach that goal when I can’t even bring myself to pull up the document on my computer? You’d think that majoring in Fiction Writing would mean that I would have a lot of time and motivation to work on my own personal projects, but no. Most of my time is taken up by reading classic literature as they attempt to mold us into the next great American author.